Postcard From Hell

Meowllo everypawdy, you are not gonna believe what happened last week. Me’s loungin’ ‘round just tremblin’ under da chair enjoyin’ da rains and thunder and mommy brings in a postcard and says it’s fur me. Well let me tell ya’, me luvs to get mail, so me couldn’t wait fur mommy to read it to me. Da front had these cutesy fotos of kitties and doggies, so me could only ‘magine good things. Maybe me had won a lifetime supply of noms. Or better yet, a lifetime supply of freeze dried chicken breast treats. Those chunks of white meat chicken are so yummy, me can taste ‘em now. (looks off dreamily and licks lips) Anyways, me ask mommy to read it to me.

Dezi cocks head to the side in thought
What’s it say mommy?

Big mistake furiends. Ifin ya’ get a postcard in da mail with cutesy kitties and doggies on it…throw it out, tear it up, rip it to shreds, eat it, just do somethin’ with it befur da peeps get a chance to see it. It’s da postcard from hell. Dat stinky ‘ole VET had da nerve to send me a card tellin’ me to tell mommy to call them up and make a ‘pointment fur me to get poked and purrodded. Can you believe dat? Me’s respawnse to dat postcard? Sure thing doctor C me will get right on dat. Me can’t wait to be manhandled and jabbed. Me’s gonna tell mommy to make dat call ASAP. Yeah, right. What’s up with them? Do they think me actually likes them? Do me’s hisses and growls not tell them clear ‘nuff dat me doesn’t enjoy me’s time there? Me told mommy dat she could just throw dat out and ignore it all together.

dw-Dezi scratching floorDSCN6458edit (800x675)
Give me dat postcard, me will rip it to shreds.

But alas, mommy had da nerve to call over to da VETs office and schedule an appointment. Me has to find some place to hide or else me will be getting’ assaulted Fursday meownin’. Dat’s right, me’s ‘pointment is Fursday at 11 o’clock. Me may just have to give da VET da ‘ole whacky paw so he’ll get da message and not be sendin’ anymore of those cutesy postcards. Me hopes your day goes better than me’s day. As you’ve purrobably figgered out by now, we’re way behind on our visitin’. Just wait, you’ll find out ‘zactly why later this week. And hopefully things will get back to normal soon. Seems mommy’s monthly doctor’s ‘pointment is Wednesday, and of course there’s all this lease re-certification stuffs mommy has to get together, so we’s plannin’ a big ketch up with you all this weekend and when we can durin’ da week. Seems June is a really busy month fur us. Me’s gonna wrap it up now, da lawn crew just showed up. Kittens!!! And it’s only miserable Monday. So much fur me’s nappin’ and strollin’ plans. Mommy, ifin ya’ need me, me will be UTB. 

Dezi laying on svratcher
Oh cats, da lawn crew’s here. There goes me’s nap.

Remember, be suspicious of all cutesy animal postcards addressed to us furries. It’s most likely da postcard from hell.

Till da next time…………………………………….Be Blest!!!

Do you get reminder notices from your VET?

Do you (your kitty) like your VET?

 

 

Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses

Dezi

Lexi, Where Are You?

Well here we awe at da beginnin’ of anudder busy week. We say busy but it’s also gunna be fun. Okay maybe not everyday, but a few days at least. And lots of ya’ was innewested in hearin’ da stowry of sis Lexi and da washin’ machine so weez gunna be tellin’ ya’ all ‘bout dat too. Mommy talked wiff one of our awnties this past week ‘bout hers comin’ up to Oklahoma to meet us. And they finalized da details last night. WooHoo Mommy sez every woman out there will know what comes next. A day of mad cleanin’ is on da calendar fur mommy today. And then later this week mommys case worker be comin’ out. Now weez not fink we told ya’, but member when mommys case worker twaded her last year and gave mommy a new one? Welllllllllll dat didn’t work out. Da furst “new” case worker did nuffin’ but sleep when she came to visit and then she just up and left da company and went back to work fur hers last company wiff no notice. So mommy was assigned anudder “new” case worker. She never showed up fur a visit, and didn’t call or email eever. So mommy called hers old case worker and asked ifin she wuld purrlease take hers case back, and she did. So all’s well dat ends well wight?

 

Anyways, since mommy’s gunna be so busy we fawt we wuld tell ya’ ‘bout sissy and da washer today. We purromise to get back to twainin’ stowries by next week. We know yous be enjoyin’ those and we luv tellin’ ya’ ‘bout ‘em. Me be quite da character, least dat’s what mommy sez. So most of meez twainin’ stowries have da added bonus of bein’ comical. Now weez gunna show ya’ a foto of sis Lexi when she was much yunger and they had a linen closet. sissy luvved sleepin’ amongst da fureshly washed and dwied towels, so she kuld be found there anytime she was “off duty”. Mommy shulda known then dat sissy was gunna be a laundwy hog.

 

dw Lexitowels
Yep mommy left dat spot tween da towels empty so sissy wuld have sumwhere to lay. Yes we know weez be spoiled.

Mommy’s always kept a clothes basket on top of da dwyer fur puttin’ da dirty clothes in afur laundwy day. And once they moved into this pawrtment da washer and dwyer wiff dat basket was in da pawdee box room. Arguably one of da quietest aweas of da house. Least while da washer and dwyer be turned off. There was no more linen closet so sissy began to sleep in da basket wiff da dirty clothes. When mommy kuldn’t find Lexi she knew dat all she had to do was look in da basket on da dwyer and she wuld find a peacefully nappin’ Lexi. Now as me sed our laundwy room be in da pawdee box room. and it is, it’s just in da back of it wiff these half walls so it kinda looks like anudder room wiffout a door. Da washer sits on one side and da dwyer on da udder. In tween those is a pawdee box and da pails mommy found to keep our extwa litter in. Those sit wight in fwunt of da washer so it makes a little step stool. And dats how sissy wuld get to da basket on da dwyer.

 

When mommy wuld call her she wuld climb outta da basket and stwetch hers way acwoss to da washer and climb down da litter pails to da floor. Sumtimes sissy wuld examine da top of da washer and do a balancin’ beam act on da ledge of da back of da washin’ machine. Course this always made mommy nervous and she wuld tell Lexi to get down and stop duin’ dat. Well this one day when me was weally yung, mommy and me went to town and left sissy sleepin’ in da laundwy basket. Usually when mommy came home sissy wuld come meet us at da door and say meowllo. On this purrticular day she didn’t come runnin’ at all. Mommy called to her and she didn’t answer. Finkin’ dat she was just tired and still sleepin’ peacefully mommy went back out to unload da car. She figgered by da time she got back in da house sissy wuld be there to gweet her. But alas when mommy came back in still no Lexi. Mommy stawrted puttin’ fings away and callin’ to sissy. Me was wight unnew mommys feetsies. No weason to wunnew where me was. MOL Mommy got everyfin’ put away but still no Lexi. And let me tell ya’ dat’s cause fur alawrm cuz mommy always gives us special tweats when she comes home fwum bein’ out. And you know how much sis Lexi used to luv da tweats. She still duz, she’s just pickier these days.

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Then she heard it. Off in da distance was a faint slow and low meow. Mommy knew dat meow and knew it was sissy. But why was she meowin’ to mommy stead of comin’ up fwunt to gweet her she wunnewed. Mommy called again and Lexi got louder and it sounded more distwessed. So mommy headed to da back of da house to check on sissy wiff me in tow. As we got further down da hall me heard sissys distwessin’ calls and headed stwaight fur da pawdee box room. Mommy was still callin’ to her so she wuld keep on meowin’; makin’ it easier fur mommy to find her. Mommy entered da bedroom lookin’ towards da bed. Dat’s anudder of sissys favowit spots. She likes to crawl unnew da covers and sleep, specially in da winter. So mommy’s used to seein’ a lump in da middle of da bed. Anyways mommy headed fur da bed, but me had alweady located sissy and added meez baby meweeks to hers alweady stwessed meows. Mommy sed me looked like a pointer wiff meez body stiffened up, tail stwaight out peerin’ at da washin’ machine meweekin’ away. Mommy went ahead and looked unnew da bed and then headed to da pawdee box room. She saw me standin’ there lookin’ at da washer and asked ifin me had found Lexi. Me bwoke meez stance and rubbed against mommys legs and then wesumed meez furmer stance.

 

Mommy called to Lexi again and da meow was purretty loud and echoed sum. Mommy panicked. She knew she hadn’t left da washer door open but it was sumfin’ dat sissy kuld open hers self. So mommy quickly opened da lid and looked in. Nope, no sis Lexi there. So mommy looked over at da basket on top of da dwyer. No sis Lexi there eever. Where kuld she be, mommy asked and called to her again. This time sissy let out a wail and moved a bit. Mommy heard da noise and knew sissy was…behind da washer. Or to put it more accurately on da floor tween da washer and da wall. Da only weason there’s any room there is cuz of all da hoses and stuff. You know, yous can’t squish da hoses or da machine won’t work. So mommy told hers to wait a minute and she pulled da shower chair over in fwunt of da washer so she kuld see back there. Mommy carefully climbed onto da shower chair and then onto da washer and looked over da back to see sissy wedged in a small spot wiffout any room to turn wound or lay down.

 dw DnL vanity2

Mommy sed, “oh sweety how in the world did you get back there?” Sissy looked up at mommy and let out a loud yeowl. Mommy twied weachin’ down to lift hers back up but even mommys awrms awen’t dat long. MOL Sissy knew help was here so she stawrted twyin’ to move. Mommy hollered at hers to sit still and wait a minute. She didn’t want her to get hung up in da hoses and power cord. Sissy stopped movin’ and mommy crawled back off da washer and moved da shower chair back outta da way. Me was still on point when mommy moved da pawdee boxes outta da way and told me to move. We have this card table dat sits in tween da wall and da washer too, so mommy pulled it out and then told sissy to be still. Weez kuldn’t see her, but she almost always duz what she’s told, so mommy had no doubt she was gunna be safe as long as she stayed still. Mommy gwabbed each side of da washer and stawrted pullin’ and wigglin’ it away fwum da wall. She got it out a bit and asked Lexi iifin she kuld turn wound and come out da side she cleared. Lexi meowed and out she came. She jumped up on da vanity and laid down while mommy put everyfin’ back in place.

 

Me jumped up on da vanity too so me kuld make sure sissy was okay. When mommy finished puttin’ fings back she came over and sat on da hooman pawdee box and stawrted pettin’ us boff and told sissy to never do dat again, and told me never to do it fur da furst time. Mommy told sissy how scary dat was and dat she was pawfully lucky dat she didn’t bweak anyfin’ or get hung up in all those cords and hoses. We had no way of knowin’ how long she had been back there. She kulda dun it just afur we got home or wight after we left. But she was okay and dat’s all dat mattered to us. But did she listen to mommy? Not on this. She did dat twick a few more times afur mommy finally put so much stuff on da top of da washer dat no kitty kuld get back there again. Sissy even encouraged me to twy it out. OMC Mommy was not at all purrleased ‘bout dat. MOL Sissy has a weal knack of getting’ into places dat she can’t get back out of and dat take a bit of furniture weawwangin’ to wescue her. Mommy sez she can look back on it now and see da humor in it, but dat it wasn’t very funny at da time.

 

 

So, what’s da worst purrdicament you’ve gotten into? And did yous hooman have to come to da wescue?

 

Till da next time………………………Be Blest!!!

 

Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses

 

Dezi and Lexi

cat-animated