Well how awe yous all duin’ today? Suwe hope yous enjoyed yesfurday’s blog posty. Wusn’t Tennyson a gweat mancat? Meez suwe hopes yous all shawed hims so he can find hims furevew home soon. See weez wanted to do sumfin’ to help kitties and since mommy can no longer foster cuz of where weez live, and wiff all dat’s been goin’ on lately hers hasn’t been able to volunteer wiff da spay/neuter clinic, so weez ‘cided to shawe a kitty hoo needs a home evewy week. Weez weally ‘cited ‘bout this and hope yous awe too. Weez also wanna fank yous up fwunt fur shawin’ ‘em each week. Ifin weez all band tugedder and shawe fur each udder then maybe, just maybe weez can find a lot of kitties their furevew homes.
Fanks fur all yous luv and support.
Now fur da yucky pawt of meez posty. An update ‘bout ow pawtment situation. So last week weez sent management an email and cc’d evewypawdy includin’ da Housin’ authowity and put them on notice dat this was an emergency and dat they wuz violatin’ mommys fair housin’ status cuz of hers disablity due to da condition of da pawtment and their lack of action. (they hav weplaced all floors in da next door pawtment where da flood originated, boof times; and da one on da udder side of it since this all began) We also suggested da fair market value of ow pawtment shuld be adjusted. Dat means they shuld be gettin’ less munny. Well, what’d’ya’ know, they called us back Furiday meownin’ and wanted to schedule sumfin’ fur this week. Thweaten thier munny and get sum action. But they wuz still wantin’ mommy to find hers own place to go and pay fur it, and pack and move evewyfin’ hers selff. Well mommy put hers foot down and sed NO. Course it helps dat mommy be sick cuz hers can’t do nuffin’ wight now even ifin hers wuld.
So today at almost 6:30 p.m. da snoopervisor calls and tells mommy they awe gunna be weplacin’ da cawpets on Wednesday and puttin’ us in a motel Tuesday night (tonight) fwu Fursday meownin’. And dat managers and maint. men awe gunna be movin’ our stuff. But dat they awen’t gunna weplace da tiles in da kitchen, dinin’ room, and pawdee box room. Oh No she did not say dat to mommy after puttin’ hers on hold fur so long. Well………mommy kep hers cool (as she wuz bein’ taped, altho they don’t know mommy knew it) and informed her dat da job wuld not be completed til da tiles wuz weplaced as well. Cuz there wuz water under neaff ‘em and it seeps out evewy once in a while and reeks of uwine and is most likely growin’ mold.
Da idiot snoopervisor asked mommy what hers meant by contaminated. Mommy had alweady spelled it out in da email hers sent, but hers told da snoopervisor again ‘bout da neighbors dog who used da floor fur hims pawdee and dat hims had worms and God only knows what else. And dat nopawdy evew cleaned da floors ovew there cuz they had intended to weplace them. So then hers tells mommy dat hers wuld need mommy to put in writin’ dat she be wefusin’ da cawpet. And mommy sed she wusn’t wefusin’ da cawpet she’s just sayin’ dat this isn’t ovew and da job isn’t complete (and dat mommy’s gunna stay on them like white on rice) until da tiles be weplaced. Mommy also told hers dat she went to da doctor and hims gav hers antibiotics and sed till mommy not be bweathin’ in those germs anymowe hers wuldn’t get well. Mommy also told da snoopervisor that when da floor peeps wuz here they came to weplace ALL da floors not just da cawpet, and evewypawdy wuz aware of dat fact and so wuz Rural Development (Housing). She told mommy she wuld hav to get back to hers Tuesday (today). so maybe while yous be weadin’ this weez be twyin’ to figgew out how to make suwe dat management duz what they awe supposed to.
Da local manager has hawassed mommy evew since hers took ovew wantin’ mommy to get rid of sum of hers fings. (weez do hav quite a bit, but weez not be hoarders and Housin’ has inspected and sed evewyfin’ is fine) And they awe always wantin’ to take fotos of ow fings and mommy won’t let them. So weez got to figger out a way to say in an email dat puts them on notice, dat even tho’ weez not be here, they still can’t take fotos of our fings due to ow wight to purrivacy, and dat they awe financially wesponsible fur all ow fings since they not be movers wiff insuwance fur these kinds of fings. Cuz as yous know, movers hav insuwance dat covers damages when they pack and move stuff. Yous might hav to pay a bit extwa, but they hav it. And since weez not wesponsible fur any of this, weez not payin’ nuffin and weez not signin’ nuffin’ da weleases them.
Well this isn’t zackly da posty weez had wanted to make today, but weez know yous all been followin’ ow situation and purrayin’, purrin’, and sendin’ well wishes ow way so weez knew yous wuld wanna know what be goin’ on. Fanks fur all yous suppowt and purrlease keep up da purrayers, weez not on da udder side of this yet. Ifin any of yous hav any ideas ‘bout da wordin’ weez shuld use, email us fur suwe. Weez wuld fur suwe purreciate dat. Unfortunately weez not had anyword fwum legal aid and da lady fwum housin’ is outta da office till Fursday, so no help there eevew.
Meweek evewypawdy. Hope yous weekend has been a good one. It’s been a busy one fur us, but…we get an extwa day!!! Isn’t dat pawsum? Well me dusn’t wanna take up too much time wiff updates and such cuz me weally finks ow gwievin’ series is purrtant, but me knows yous awe curious. Weez still hav no word as to when da work might get stawted on ow pawtment and as me sed this be a long weekend so weez won’t hear anyfin’ til da earliest Tuesday. So mommy decided to unpack enuff of ow stuff so dat we kuld get wound a bit better and hers kuld take fotos of ow stuff to make suwe it comes back and in da same condition it wuz in when it left. After all, da movers awe bein’ hired to pack, store and bwing back and unpack. Weez also kinda took da weekend to west, as mommy wuz just exhausted after unpackin’, and hers got a foo mowe fings hers wants to get too. So we will be visitin’ yous all again stawtin’ today. Now, altho’ we know most of yous unnewstand dat us animals gwiev, it’s always pawssible dat sumpawdy be readin’ ow blog dat dusn’t. And there may be sum fings ‘bout it yous didn’t know or fink ‘bout so dat’s why weez writin’ this series. So wiff out further adieu, here’s Lexi.
Thanks Dezi. Yes in our short time in social media we have encountered a lot of loss. And we’ve heard all kinds of stories about how you help your animals through it. Some are good and some not so much. But it’s not your fault when you do the wrong things sometimes. It’s not like we can talk and tell you something isn’t working or what you should have done. So we hope with these posts and walking you through our grieving process can help some of you understand us a bit better. Altho’ remember all animals have their own individual personalities, and these are just our tips, tricks and experiences.
(hover over the photos to read the captions)
After losing Devon, Lucky and I grew even closer. We were only 28 days apart to begin with, and now it was just us and mommy. Things were great. And then almost 4 years later Lucky got sick. It was sudden and overwhelming. His smell changed and mommy would take him out and when he came home he smelled even stranger. (I still react badly to the smell of the vets office) He pulled away from me, but I didn’t care. He didn’t smell like my Lucky anymore. I would scream and hiss when he came around. This didn’t last long as he died so quickly after getting sick. Not even a week went by and he was gone. My anger turned quickly to fear and grief. I began to search for him around every corner and in all the places he used to hide. I would pace on the bed at night and meow almost non stop. I spent a lot of time with mommy and didn’t want her to be out of my sight. She was sad too and I could feel it. I didn’t eat. Mommy recognized what was going on and gave me extra love and would talk to me in that loving and gentle voice that says everything’s going to be okay.
The one thing mommy did that helped me get through it, was to change her grieving process so that I didn’t feel her sadness as much. As many of you know we animals sense your emotions and behave accordingly. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t grieve your beloved furry family member. It just means that you avoid obsessing about it, especially when you are in direct contact with us. Remember we are still here. Try to appreciate us. Play with us and speak with a slight lilt in your voice.
We know things have changed and we’ve gotten by now that our housemate isn’t coming back, but we don’t truly understand death. You see in the wild we would see and smell the illness and then the death. Yes, death has a smell. But being domesticated often death happens outside of our presence. As does many times the illness. In the wild we would avoid or push away the sick member because they are weak and would possibly draw predators to us. But in a home as domesticated animals we often show empathy to the sick and weak among us. And then suddenly they’re not there anymore.
Bringing home the body and presenting it to us to smell does not work!! The body has the smell of the vets office and medication, not that of death. Since most of us (especially cats) aren’t crazy about the vet we don’t understand what you’re trying to tell us. We communicate through smells more than vision, so instead of helping us say goodbye, you are causing us to feel more trepidatious about the vet and those at least yearly visits. If our house mate was undergoing treatments of any kind before death, even though they die in our home, the body doesn’t have the true smell of death.
The best way to help us is to allow us to grieve but don’t let it linger. We know you need to grieve as well, but around us you have to present a strong front. If we appear to find a blanket or favorite toy that belonged to our house mate comforting, then allow us to have it. You don’t have to completely erase their presence in the home, but a shrine isn’t good for either of us. Mommy believes that with the death of a beloved furry somewhere out there is another furry looking for you. A new furry WILL NOT REPLACE the beloved furry that left you, but they will help fill the void and offer lots of love. And even if we act out and don’t seem very accepting, it is occupying our mind and re-directing our grief. Just watch an make sure nobody gets really hurt. And as most of you know, when you want to stop an unwanted behavior re-direction is often the best way to go about it. And although we don’t really speak the same language, mommy has found that if she sits down with us and explains that our house mate has gone to heaven (or whatever you believe in) and isn’t coming back we seem to calm down.
We know these are not the only ways to deal with grief in your furry family members. These tips are based on our personal experiences and mommys’ experiences and knowledge from being a vet tech. We hope this has helped some of you understand our grieving process a bit better. We didn’t cover every minute or action, but enough of the highlights to convey the emotions. Although we wish nobody or animal had to experience loss, death is a part of life. Mommy loves wholeheartedly and losing a fur baby is very hard on her too. But thankfully she learned a long time ago that she can talk about her grief with others for comfort. But I have no one but her, and my health depends on how quickly I can bounce back and let go. We love you all dearly and are grateful to have met you even though it’s only online. You are as much a part of our family as we are to each other.
Fanks sissyfur fur shawin’. As Lexi sez weez suwe hope yous can find sum tip to take away wiff you. Gwief is a natural purrawcess but you can’t live there and neevew can we. Ifin yous need help copin’ wiff da loss of a luved one, purrlease ask. Sumtimes we all need a little help fwum ow furmily and furiends.
Well here it is Wednesday and weez just now gettin’ anudder blog posty out. Wiff all dat’s been goin’ on lately me guesses me shuld giv mommy a bweak and be glad hers helps me get a posty out a foo times a week huh?. After all, how many peeps and kittys out there can say they’ve had their house flooded 3 times in one munff? Huh? How many? Betcha not many. So here we awe wiff still wet cawpet and stuff and boxes and furniture evewywhere but where it’s posed to be. At least da owner of da movin’ and storin’ company came yesfurday so hims kuld giv da management company a cost to pack and store ow fings while they paint and lay da floors. Dat’s sumfin’ isn’t it? Mommy’s ‘bout to go cwazy and maybe even a little postal. Da management company’s posed to put us up in a motel while they do all this work.
Anyways we told you we had a funny to tell yous. Now we know sum of yous might not find it so funny, but member weez twyin’ to find fings to laff at so weez not cwyin’ constantly. And mind yous nopawdy wuz in any actual danger at any time. Well ‘cept maybe mommy. But hers is purretty clever hers selff and she sez she wusn’t in danger eevew. So here goes. Mommy has a case manager dat comes to “visit” once a munff. And so mommy got to lookin’ at hers bwoke chair and fawt she might be able to rig it so it wuld work fur hers to sit in stead of da floor. (or makin’ da case manager sit on da wet floor) Dat’s meez mommy fur yous, always finkin’ ‘bout what sumpawdy might fink of hers. So mommy played wound a bit and finally got da chair sittin’ up off da floor. Hers sat down and heard da rotted wood cweak, but fawt ifin hers wuz gentle it wuld hold. So case manager got here and meez rolled wound da wet fllor showin’ off and mommy sat evew so gently in hers chair and da case manager sat on mommys piano bench. She’s one of those petite little girlys. Well they filled out all da papers and mommy answered all da questions and case manager left.
Mommy wus enjoyin’ not havin’ to sit on da wet floor so much hers continued to gently sit in da rotted and broken chair. Meez had gone to da back to take a little nap after showin’ off, and woke up fwum a “bad” dweam and found meselff alone. Natuwally meez ran full speed ahead wound da maze dat is our house and leapt right up in mommys lap. Of course mommy heard me comin’ so hers had put hers awms out to catch me. this be sumfin’ me duz a lot so mommy’s gotten weally good at catchin’ me. Well me knows me has told yous all offen dat me be a vewy big girl. And well…….dat 30 extwa pounds at high speed dat wuz me wuz a little too much fur mommys bwoken rotted chair. Cus no sooner than mommy had caugght me and leaned forward to make suwe ifin anyfin’ happened me wuld be okay, da chair went……CRASH!!! And meez not talkin’ ‘bout no little cwash. Dat chair plopped wight stwaight down and da rotted wood bwoke and came wight up fwu da rotted matewial on da awm of da chair. Meez takes off runnin’ down da hall afur weez even hit da floor, and mommy stawted wavin’ hers awms da way she duz, and hollewin’, “Danger, Danger, Dezi, Lexi!! Stay Back!!” Stay back? Yeah like we wuz goin’ anywhere near dat in da first place. It sounded like a sonic boom or sumfin’. (no fotos, as yous might magine mommy wuz mowe concerned wiff our safety and her own)
But meez not fink mommy’s gunna be able to purrop dat fing up again. Oh well, me sez good widdence to bad rubbish. Da chair got so wet it smells anyways. Yous wuld fink she wuld twy to haul it off. Well anyways, mommy wuz flailin’ hers awms evewywhere and yellin’ and Lexi and me wuz boff standin’ in da bedroom door lookin’ down da hall. When mommy wealized we wusn’t comin’ anywhere near da chair, hers face told da whole story. You kuld tell she wanted to cwy, but instead, hers just busted out laffin’. Yep, da rollin’ in da floor giv yous selff a belly ache kinda laffin’. Dat’s meez mommy. She sez ifin yous can’t laff at yous selff then evewypawdy els is gunna be laffin’ at yous. And also dat life be too short to take evewyfin’ so serious.
Mommy’s gotten purretty used to da floor this past week as we can’t get da wheel chair wound da house cuz of all da boxes and misplaced furniture. But dat’s a whole nudder stowwy fur anudder time.
Me did get to go on da cat scout quest, and only missed pawts of a foo fings. But me wuz able to catch up purretty quick when we got back there. Let me tell yous sumfin’. Dat Den Master be sneaky clever and made this quest kinda hawd. But meez so purroud to be a pawt of such a wunnewful gwoup of cats and their hoomans. Altho’ we awe a competitive bunch a cats/hoomans we all member da weason we awe there is to hav fun. Me wuz da flag bearer, assistant scwibe and ssistant cheer leader. Meez gotta tell yous, dat Spitty and Austin came up wiff sum gweat cheers. Since me nor mommy has evew been an official cheer leader, weez did sum basic Go Warriors Go kinds cheers.
Wally’s Warriors weady fur action.
OMC meez almost furgot. Stop by da Tabby Cat Club tuday as we awe goin’ on a riverboat twip down da bayou. Andy flew down to escowt Lexi and me to our costume dwess up dinner. As usual hims wuz vewy handsum and sis Lexi looked downwight gawjus.
Disclaimer: Meez wuld like to tell yous dat sum of ow facebook furiends hav put munny on our paypal so mommy can buy a new chair. Weez don’t yet hav enuff, but Lord willin’ we will get there. And we wuldn’t wanna bwing in a new chair on da wet floor to get ruined anyhow. We told this stowwy cuz we fawt it wuz funny not cuz we wuz meanin’ to make anypawdy feel sowwy fur us or feel like they shuld get us anyfin’.
Meowllo evewypawdy, hope yous havin’ a pawsum Sunday. Me knows me wuz gunna tell yous a funny in meez nex posty, but mommy be exhausted wiff all da floodin’ so weez gunna tell it nex week. Fur today weez wuld just like to join in da Selfie blog hop wiff ow furiends ovew at The Cat on my Head.
(Ifin yous paw acwoss da fotos yous can read da text.)
Meez also has a favor to ask. We hav a pawsum furiend ovew at Facebook named Cheetah. Hims a 1 year old neutered and microchipped pure bred Bengal kitty. Hims lives in Muswell Hills North London UK wiff hims mummy and sisfur. They miss hims sumfin’ pawful. There is a reward bein’ offered. So meez askin’ yous all ifin yous wuld to purray and share. Meez not know how to turn on Facebook share, as weez alweady did dat and it doesn’t show up. But yous can find da posty here on sis Lexi’s page and Cheetah’s page. Fank yous in advance fur all yous help.
Service Cats U.S. 