Hey everypawdy, it’s me, RaenaBelle. Seems sissy was right and meowin’ ‘bout mine’s beauty is conceited. So, I’s a more humble Belle today. I’s gotta tell ya’, we were visitin’ with our furiends yesfurday when mommy passed plumb out and lost track of everythin’. We’re sorry ifin we didn’t get by to visit with you, we’re plannin’ more visits this week. Hey sissy, aren’t you glad we’re girly’s?
Hey, Yo, it’s me, RaenaBelle. Comin’ to you live from the ranch, better known as our ‘pawrtment. Yep, I’s live and in the fur bringin’ you blow by blow accounts of life in the slow lane.
RaenaBelle Mayce, what in the world are you meowin’ ‘bout? And why are you meowin’ like some hood rat?
Hood rat?! What’s a hood rat sissy? Do we have any ‘round here? I’s bet’ch’a our furiend Erin would luvs to have a bite of one of those. Let me just look thru our address book and find her nummer. We’ll set out the pawtal so she can get here in a jiffy. I’s bet she could teach us a thing or two ‘bout ketchin’ those things. She may be a princess now, but she hasn’t always lived the pampurred life.
(Dezi shakes her head) RaenaBelle…It’s nice that you wanna share, but hood rat is just an expression. We don’t actually have any rats ‘round here of any kind. Y, Me’s never actually seen a real live mouse. Less ya’ wanna count the one me saw at BlogPaws that time. But me doesn’t think that one counts since he was somepawdy’s pet. You know, you can’t eat somepawdy’s pet, that’s just not nice.
Kind’a like Speedy, our bestest bunny furiend. Huh sissy?.
Uh, yeah, kind’a like that Raena. We don’t really think ‘bout Speedy bein’ a rabbit like the ones we like to see on our dinner plates. Speedy’s just Speedy, ya’ know?. It’s kind’a like all our woofy furiends. They’re nuffin’ like those annoyin’ woofies ‘round here and at the V-E-T’s office. Anyways, ya’ got me off track here. Me was askin’ why you were meowin’ things like Yo, and what blow by blows are you relatin’? Nopawdy’s fightin’ here.
Of course not sissy. Why would anypawdy be fightin’?
Alright Raena, me’s not goin’ down this rabbit hole with you again. Me…
Rabbit hole? When did you get to go outside? Where’s the rabbit hole sissy? I’s wanna see it. That’s not fair that you got to go outside and I’s didn’t. I’s take care of mommy just as much as you do. Ifin anypawdy ought to get to go outside, it’s me. I’s haven’t really and truly seen all the marvels that make up nature on account on mine’s eyes bein’ bad. Now that I’s can see clearly, I’s need to go and check out the world ‘round us. (Raena puts on her pouty face)
Raena, there is no rabbit hole. Well, there purrobably is, but me hasn’t seen it. Nopawdy’s been outside, not even mommy. Seriously now, where’d you get the word Yo?
TV of course. Now sissy, ifin nopawdy’s been outside, then why are you meowin’ ‘bout rabbit holes and stuffs?
With as much tv as you watch Raena, you should be more than a little furmiliar with silly human sayings, like down the rabbit hole.
I’s not ever heard it sissy. Maybe the tv peeps bleep those things out. Y, Last night while mommy was makin’ our dinner, I’s changed the channel by mistake and this whole show was bleep bleep bleep. I’s don’t know why somepawdy would wanna watch somethin’ that doesn’t even have words. Quite furankly, those bleeps are a bit annoyin’.
Oh Raena, you still have so much to learn. Once upon a time, no movies had words.
No Way, sissy? Really???
Sure ‘nuff Raena. ‘Course, that was long befur me’s time.
MeOW I’s can’t even ‘magine. Anyways, guess that’s all the time I’s have fur today’s blow by blows. We’ve got things to do and peeps to see…or is it places to go and…ah who cares. RaenaBelle signin’ off from the ranch, I’s think it sounds better than the old ‘pawrtment, k? Fanky fank you all fur your patience with us. We’re slowly but surely gettin’ ‘round to visit all of you.
Raena: Hey You!!! Bully lady (apartment manager), what are you doin’ to our car? Mommy, What’s the bully lady doin’ with our car? Don’t you be takin’ no fotos of our car!!! Just go on and get away, ya’ hear?!!
Dezi: RaenaBelle, what in the world are you growlin’ and hissin’ ‘bout over there?
Raena: Y, Don’t you see her sissy? She’s there behind that tree. That mean o’l bully lady’s walkin’ ‘round checkin out our car in the pawrkin’ lot with her camera. I’s don’t know what she’s doin’, cuz our car’s fine and mommy pawrked t’ween the lines, unlike some peeps out here.
She’s just tryin’ to find another way to harass mommy Raena. Don’t worry ‘bout it, let mommy do the worryin’. The mean lady just can’t stand it that we still live here in spite of all her attempts to get rid of us. Mommy’s still workin’ on the purrticulars of her complaint over the whole lease fiasco, she’ll just have to add this to it. Me swears, it just never stops with this woman.
Yeah sissy, I’s just don’t unnerstand why she hates mommy so much?. We keep to ourselves and don’t cause any trouble, like, ever. And mommy says we pay our rent on time every month, even tho’ they just raised it by $40.00. And, unlike the woofies ‘round here, we’re not poopin’ all over the sidewalks.
Yeah Raena, me knows. But bullies just aren’t happy lessen they’re makin’ somepawdy else miserable. And when they cross somepawdy like mommy, who doesn’t back down, they just get beside themselves tryin’ to garner allies to their side and find new ways to pick on their chosen victims. Me thinks it’s totally ridiculous fur old peeps to be actin’ like 5 year olds on the playground. You’d think at some point everypawdy would just grow up and act their age.
You’d think, huh sissy? Anyways, ‘nuff ‘bout the schoolyard ‘pawrtment bully. What do you think ‘bout the hots comin’ back? Ya’ know, durin’ last weeks storms it kind’a cooled off ‘round here…a lot. But, summer came back with a vengeance this week. It’s been in the hunnerds every day.
Ain’t that the truth, Raena. Ifin it hadn’t stormed so much me might have enjoyed the cooler weather. But, since it was stormin’ all week, we couldn’t even go fur a stroll or nuffin’. There’s not much to enjoy UTB (under the bed). Meowin’ of storms, did you see the storm that happened on your married to a stranger show last night?
I’s sure did sissy. But you know, that’s what ya’ get when you get married and still troll the datin’ web sites. Somepawdy’s bound to find out. Guess we need to go deactivate all those accounts we made fur mommy on the datin’ sites. Turns out they don’t work that well. After all, nopawdy ever called mommy fur a date.
You didn’t actually give anypawdy our nummer, did you Raena? Me didn’t see anypawdy worth swipin’ right fur.
Well sissy, maybe you’re too picky like mommy. Were we s’posed to swipe somethin’? Hmmmmmmm Maybe that’s why they didn’t work. I’s ‘member seein’ one or two that might’ve been okay. Oh well, back to the drawin’ board. Maybe we can find a matchmaker. Or maybe we can find a mail order husband. Ya’ know, I’s found a new show on the tube the other night ‘bout fureigners wantin’ to marry Americans fur green cards papers.
That Raena’s left her plate again. Ifin me hurries, me can steal her noms too.
Raena, we don’t have enuff green papers to go ‘round as it is; we’re fur sure not spendin’ ‘em on somepawdy to marry mommy. Me’s thinkin’ we might oughtta take a little break and just let the chips fall where they may.
So long as they don’t fall on our track toys, sissy. Mommy does that enuff on her own. Guess we better wrap this up and finish our brekky. I’s think mommy’s headin’ back to the kitchen fur another cup of coffee, and we’ve got lots of furiends to visit. Why don’t you tell the neighbor dog to stop barkin’, it’s inneruptin’ mine’s train of thought and not mine’s idea of good dinner music.
Raena: Hey everypawdy, it’s me, RaenaBelle. How are ya’ll doin’? ‘Member a while back when we were tryin’ to sign mommy up to marry a total stranger?
Dezi: Wait a minute RaenaBelle, don’t lump me into that. That was all you. Me had nuffin’ to do with that. You’re the one that watches all the teevee ‘round here.
Raena: Sure sissy, whatever you meow. (Raena meows under her breath) I’s seem to ‘member you were all fur gettin’ us a daddy at the time too. Anyways, the new season just started and OMC the day after the weddin’, one of those peeps was arrested. Sure nuff, there they were at the airpurrt fixin’ to go away on their honeymoon, when the pawlice showed up and whisked one of ‘em away. Looks like we dodged a bullet so to meow.
You’re right ‘bout that Raena. Altho’, to be fair, we don’t yet know the whole story. Now don’t get me wrong, we’re all ‘bout criminals bein’ punished fur their crimes, but teevee always makes things look worse than they are. Still, me’s glad we didn’t get mommy involved in all that. Like we don’t have enuff purroblems already. Hmmmpht
I’s seem to ‘member the only reason we didn’t get mommy signed up was cuz she’s too old, sissy. I’s think mommy still has a lot of good years left in her, but ‘pawrently anypawdy over 30 shouldn’t x’pect to find their special somepawdy.
RaenaBelle, you’re meowin’ ‘bout mommy like she’s a racehorse or somethin’. She’s got a lot of good years left in her (Dezi shakes her head)…Where did you even come up with that? Another teevee show no doubt.
Well sissy, ifin mommy was a racehorse, she wouldn’t be just some filly, she’d be a thoroughbred fur sure.
Me agrees Raena. Me’s just not sure mommy would ‘purreciate bein’ refurred to as a horse.
Well at least me isn’t callin’ her a pig or somethin’. Anyways, enuff ‘bout all that. Can you believe how fast this year has flown by? I’s was thinkin’ we should have a pawrty or somethin’. You know, a just cuz celebration. We could invite all our furiends and pawrty the night away.
That does sound like fun Raena, but, me’s not sure now is the right time fur a pawrty. Why don’t we start with somethin’ small, like a play date? A while back we meowed that once things settled down a bit ‘round here we’d have our furiends from Feline Opines over to meow ‘bout their book. Me’s thinkin’ we should plan that fur next month.
Oh sissy, that sounds like a great idea. I’s can’t hardly wait. I’s gonna go call Alberto right now.
You do that Raena. Me’s just gonna take a short nap.
Okay sissy, you rest up cuz we’re gonna have loads of fun when our furiends get here. Maybe we can go fur a stroll, and play with the jitter bug, and zoom thru the ‘pawrtment, and…(Raena looks out the door while meowing about all the fun things to do when the friends come over, while Dezi dreams about the rest she’ll get when Raena has someone else to chase and play with.)