Mommy Where’s Sissy

Well as you can see by me’s title, today me will talk ’bout me’s grief. Afur me gets started me wants to pawlogize fur not visitin’ fur a couple days. Mommy had to get ready fur da big inspection yesfurday and was totally exhausted at da end of each day. Hopefully it’s all over now and we can get back to da business of livin’ and visitin’. So now let’s get to it.  

 Dezi poses for the camera from the arm of the chair

March 7, 2016: Sis Lexi had been feelin’ a little unner da weather and me had been spendin’ a lot of time with her back on da bed tryin’ to comfurt her. She had begun to do ’nuffin’ but sleep all day and all night. She wuld only get up to go to da pawdee box or get a drink. Mommy would carry her to da kitchen at meal times in da hopes of gettin’ her to eat sumthin’. Often mommy would open three to four different foods afur sissy would finally take a few bites and not spit it back out. Dat night after dinner, me sensed sumthin’ had changed with sissy. So when she crawled back up da steps to da bed, me followed her and gave her a quick bath and some luv and then returned to da livin’ room to be with mommy. Me mewed a quiet mew and settled in. Dat wuld be me’s last mommy mew fur over a week. Mommy seemed to sense dat sumthin’ was up too, cuz she started cryin’ when she saw me jump up on da cat tree and settle in fur an after dinner nap.  

 Dezi poses atop the Liberty cat tree

March 8, 2016: Sissy still helped me with mommy but she was gettin’ ’round really slow. Me needed her help, but me mostly ignored her. Mommy continued to carry sissy to da kitchen fur meals; hopin’ to get her to eat. And me? Me continued to ignore her. Mommy laid with sis Lexi and cried and begged her to eat, and purrayed fur God to help her. Each time mommy would get sissy to swallow a little bite of food, sissy would make herself throw it back up. And mommy would cry even harder. Me laid on da top of da cat tree tryin’ not to notice what was goin’ on. Me didn’t really unnerstand why mommy was cryin’ so much and tryin’ to force sissy to eat. Me had already sed “see ya” cuz me knew sissy wasn’t well and me didn’t know why mommy didn’t know dat. When we went to bed dat night mommy purrayed really hard fur sissy and asked God and sissy to give her a sign. She told sissy how much she loved and needed her but dat she didn’t want sissy to suffer needlessly. Finally mommy cried herself to sleep with sissy massagin’ her head.  

 Dezi on the cat tree moping

March 9,2016: Sis Lexi kuldn’t keep her balance when she tried to stand, and she continued to refuse to eat. Mommy cried and couldn’t stop cryin’. She purrayed and asked God and sissy to let her know what to do. And sissy pulled herself into mommys lap and put her head down and mewed quietly and started to purr. Da well walls broke and mommy started sobbin’ so hard her body was shakin’, and she told sissy she unnerstood. When mommy got home me knew she was alone and dat sumthin’ was different, me just didn’t really know what. Me snuggled with mommy and tried to keep da tears on her face wiped up with me’s paws, but there was just too many of them. Me and mommy both furgot all ’bout dinner till really late. But even when mommy fixed me’s plate, me didn’t eat. Neither of us wanted to sleep dat night and so we didn’t. Every time me would nod off, me would jerk meself awake again til dawn’s light finally broke thru da darkness.  

 Dezi laying on the bed in Lexi's old spot grieving

March 10, 2016: With da light of a new day, mommy gave me breakfast and as always fixed sis Lexi a plate too. But da plate went uneaten as all da plates in da last few days. Mommy just stood there lookin’ at it and cryin’. Both os us finally gave in to da exhaustion and laid back in mommy’s lift recliner fur a short nap. We didn’t sleep very good, but we did get a little rest. We had a big inspection comin’ up so mommy tried to busy herself with cleanin’. She picked up all da piddle pads dat had been all over da floors and da bed and threw them out. After vacuumin’ she didn’t put them all back down. Me watched from a distance and mommy sez me’s face looked puzzled. Mommy then tore all da linens off da bed to wash and put new ones on it. She also washed up da blankets, throws and comfurter. Sissy had thrown up and peed on them da day befur. When mommy finally got da bed all made up me climbed da steps and smelled it. Me looked back at mommy and then da bed several times befur returnin’ to da cat tree. When dinner time came, me was hungry after not eatin’ a couple of meals, so me ate everythin’ in me’s plate and asked fur more. Mommy sez she thought at dat point me was okay. Me’s here to tell you, she was Wrong. We went to bed dat night but me was a little uneasy. Things didn’t look or smell da same. But me cuddled up next to me’s quietly cryin’ mommy and we both drifted off to sleep.

 Dezi laying on the bed

March 11, 2016: After a restless night it was time to help mommy get up so she could make me brekky. Me started mommy’s massage as usual, but sis Lexi wasn’t there to help. When mommy could finally move a little me got into da wheelchair and started lookin’ round fur sissy. Me couldn’t see her anywhere, so me started callin’ out fur her. Me mewed and mewed but she never answered. After ’bout 30 minutes me jumped down and ran to da pawdee box room to see ifin she was in there. Me couldn’t see her, so me went to da livin’ room and climbed to da top of da cat tree look fur her. Mommy kept hollerin’ fur me and cryin’. Me finally gave up and went back to help mommy. After a bit of brekky me went back to lookin’ fur sissy. After a few hours of not hearin’ or seein’ me mommy came lookin’ fur me. She found me layin’ in front of da washin’ machine and tryn’ to see unner it. A long time ago sissy got stuck behind da washer and any time me couldn’t find her, dat’s da furst place me looked. Well of course mommy started cryin’ again and picked me up and took me to sit down with her. She went on and on ’bout how sissy went to heaven and wasn’t comin’ back, and dat she was lookin’ fur me a new helper, but me didn’t really unnerstand anythin’ she was sayin’. Me just wanted her to look fur sissy with me. And as soon as me could get loose, me was goin’ back to stand guard at da washer. Me was sure ifin she would just get on da washer and look behind it, she would see sissy. Me returned to me’s post at da washer several times over da next couple of days, but mommy never looked behind it. All she did was stare at me and cry.  

 Dezi staring under the washer and dryer

As me sed, me continued searchin’ fur sissy and mewin’ fur her fur days. Eatin’ only a small amount at each meal and sleepin’ more offen then not. Mommy tried playin’ every game me likes but me just wasn’t innerested. Me’s been a little jumpy and nervous and uncertain ’bout just ’bout everything. Even normal sounds make me jump a little. Me even attacked mommys legs a couple of times out of furustration. Me scratched her leg up purretty good. She knew me didn’t mean it and never even hollered at me.  

Dezi staring under the washer and dryer

Mommy, me knows she’s here. Ifin you will just look, you will see.


March 18, 2016: Today marked da furst day since sissy left dat me didn’t spend any time lookin’ fur her. And after usin’ da pawdee box, me mewed fur mommy to clean it out. Mommy seemed thrilled to hear me holler fur her to clean da pawdee box. Da once tedious job now seemed to delight her. Me only mewed fur pawdee box cleanings, but mommy seemed to be happy. Over da next few days me got a little chattier and seemed a little less nervous. Of course inspection day had me on edge as usual, but mommy sez me bounced back after all da excitement was over. Me still has moments of lookin’ fur sissy, but mommy sez once she gets me a helper and a playmate dat will disappear. Me will always member and luv sissy, me just won’t search fur her any more.

 Dezi on the vanity in the bathroom

While me didn’t act out or develop any “bad habits”, it’s not uncommon fur grievin’ pets to urinate outside of da litterbox or in da case of doggies, in da house. Altho’ not eatin’ is a sign of grief, ‘member, kitties cannot fast. If your kitty stops eatin’ fur more than 2 days, their body and vital organs can sustain irrepurrable damage. This condition is called Feline Hepatic Lipidosis which you can read about by clicking on it. Me didn’t mew much but your pet may become very vocal. Sleeping and general lethargy, loss of innerest in their favorite toys and treats may also be a sign of grief in your pet. Your pet may or may not search fur their missing house mate, but rest assured they feel da loss and don’t completely unnerstand what’s goin’ on. Extra luv and cuddles from you will help your grieving pet as much as it will help you. Adding a new pet, will also help distract and take the mind off da loss. You can NEVER replace da life or luv of your beloved pet, but you can open your heart and luv another. Sometimes it helps to get a new pet who looks nuffin’ like da one you lost. A good thing to ‘member, is dat when getting an anipal who looks identical to da one you lost is, dat da new furry has his/her own purrsonality and should have their own name, and be loved fur their uniqueness. Again, you CANNOT replace da furry you lost. To celebrate their uniqueness, buy them a new toy or food bowl. Mommy has little boxes fur each of her lost fur babies dat contains a favorite toy, dish, nip mat, collar or whatever. Sissy adored da nip mat awnty Ellen made fur us and now it resides in her memory box along with her favorite nip toys, a few whiskers dat had fallen out (mommy saves everyone she finds) and a tuft of fur mommy cut off befur sissy left us. There is no set way fur any of us to grieve, and there’s no set time on how long it’s gunna take. And to answer da question you wanna ask but won’t, yes, we’s had to delete “and Lexi” on just ’bout every comment we’s made. 

Dezi sitting on the toilet

C’mon mommy, where’s sissy hidin’?


On da inspection front, we sat ’round all day watchin’ and waitin’ and nuffin’. Finally da vice purresident of da management company dat mommy had worked with after da flood dropped by to check on us and sed our ‘partment wasn’t chosen fur inspection. Mommy figgers it’s cuz da lady from Rural Development spent so much time in our ‘partment befur, durin’ and after da flood incident, da managers harassment and all, dat she knows mommy keeps da ‘partment clean and legal and reports any purroblems purromptly. And ifin anythin’ was amiss, she would’ve already heard from mommy. So altho’ we’s good dat our ‘partment wasn’t chosen, we was furustrated dat mommy nearly killed herself over da last little bit gettin’ things in order. Anyways, there ya’ have it. Mommy and me are gonna be okay. It’s just gonna take a little time to get everythin’ back to what we call normal. And ifin anypawdy in our area knows of sum girly kitties in need of a home, purrlease let us know. Me really needs help and mommy and me both need sumkitty to focus our extra luv on. As we try to do every week. we’s joinin’ Rascal and Rocco fur da Pet Parade. And Lexi’s last post is up at da Daily Mews. Mommy and me also want you all to know dat sissy’s ashes be back home where she belongs. Mommy went to pick her up yesfurday.   

Till da next time……………………………….Be Blest!!!

Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses