MeOW (Dezi paces through the house meowing, only pausing to hiss or growl.) Raena? Oh Raena? RaenaBelle, where are you?!! (Dezi continues to meow, hiss and growl as she checks all the typical hiding spots. She walks into the kitchen where mommy A’s fixing breakfast.) Mommy, where’s Raena? Why didn’t she come back home with you yesfurday?
(Raena emerges from the middle of the scratcher at the edge of the kitchen and walks up to Dezi and raises her paw.) I’s right here sissy. Why…
(Dezi turns and sniffs the air around Raena) Oh me cats Raena, where have you been? Me’s been lookin’ everywhere fur you. You won’t believe what mommy did yesfurday. She brought this, this Thing home. (Dezi shudders) You won’t believe the stench. It smelled and looked just pawful. No matter how many times me hissed and growled at it, it just kept comin’ ‘round. Me furinally lost it at dinner time, only to find it in your spot on the bed. Me couldn’t believe mommy would let it take your spot. Mommy’s always purromissed she’d never leave us, so me doesn’t unnerstand why she’d let some innerloper sleep in your spot? Don’t you worry tho’, me gave that innerloper a piece of me’s mind. Me hissed and growled an screamed at it. Me let it know just how unwelcome it was. It must’ve got the message, cuz me can’t seem to find it anywhere this meownin’.
What do you mean come down from there mommy? Hmmmm
I’s still a little woozy.
Sissy, that wasn’t no innerloper. That was me you were hissin’ and growlin’ at. I’s didn’t feel so good and all I’s wanted was a little luvvin’ from mine’s big sissy; but all you wanted to do was stay away from me. I’s just didn’t unnerstand it at all.
That was you? Nah, no way.
Hey window, where’s the squirrels? What sissy? That’s the wall?
Yep sissy, it was me. ‘Member, I’s had to have surgery yesfurday.
Oh MeOW, that was you Raena. What happened? How’d it go?
Well sissy, I’s was really scared when we furst got there. Mommy held me close and sang to me and cuddled me till I’s quit shakin’. While we were waitin’, there was lots of big woofies that came in. All of them had to check me out. One of ‘em was a slobbery beast. I’s swear, her slobbered more than you do. And another just squatted right there in the middle of the room and peed all over the place. I’s tellin’ ya’, the whole lot of ‘em had really bad manners. Then, these peeps came in with a carrier full of kitties. They were all ‘bout 4 months old. They were meowin’ like crazy. I’s think they were more scared than I’s was. And after overhearin’ what the their peeps wanted, I’s knew why. They were there to be declawed. What’s even worse, is that their peeps wouldn’t lissen to anythin’ mommy said. I’s didn’t know how to comfurt those poor kitties, their lives were fixin’ to take a turn fur the worse and there wasn’t anythin’ we could do ‘bout it.
Oh Raena, that’s so pawful. We’ll have to say some extra purrayers fur them tonight. So, what happened next?
Well sissy, after they took those kitties away, the tech came and got me so mommy could go to the human pawtty box befur mine’s surgery got started. They used that oppurrtunity to shave mine’s face. They even stole some of mine’s whiskers. Ifin mommy hadn’t been indisposed they’d’ve never stole so many. Anyways, I’s ‘member hearin’ mommy’s sweet voice as I’s fell asleep. When I’s woke up, I’s was sore and scared. Seems mommy went to put mine’s medicines away and pay on the bill, so some tech was holdin’ me. I’s dug mine’s claws into her real good. I’s wanted her to hurt like I’s did. Mommy says it took almost 2 hours, but I’s did good and came out of it purretty fast. I’s was still a little groggy when that tech handed me back to mommy. But I’s felt her luvvin’ arms engulf me and hers sweet smell ticklin’ mine’s nose furs. It was heaven. I’s was shiverin’ and just wanted to come home. Mommy put me in the sling carrier she had bought fur us last year, so I’s could be right next to her heart. Mommy tried to post an update to facebutt, but she couldn’t figger it out on the smarty pants fone.
Raena peeking out the head hole in the sling carrier.
Since it was your actual birthday and cuz I’s did so good, we stopped at the Arby’s to get us a special treat, turkey tom lurkey and bacon. While we were waitin’ fur our treat mommy noticed the car seemed to be gettin’ hot. So, after we got our sammich, mommy pulled over in the pawrkin’ lot and popped the hood. ‘Pawrently, all our antifreeze was missin’. We don’t know where it went cuz there’s no stains back home where we pawrk, but sure ‘nuff, we didn’t have any. We had to walk over to the convenience store next door and buy some so we could make it back home. Fanky fankfully, we made it home safe and sound. Mommy put water bowls on the floor cuz I’s kept lickin’ mine’s lips and she thought I’s might be thirsty. Hmmmpht Like I’s was gonna drink off the floor or somethin’. I’s laid on one of the piddle pads in the hallway fur a bit cuz it felt like I’s needed to hurl. Mommy was a little worried cuz mine’s breathin’ was so labored and raspy.
Me ‘members seein’ It, uh, well, you in the hallway. Me’s sorry me hissed at you; me didn’t know it was you. Me could hear mommy in the kitchen and since we didn’t get any brekky, me was hopin’ she was makin’ brunch.
DO NOT drive with a cat in your lap.
It’s okay sissy. I’s didn’t unnerstand why you were bein’ so mean to me, but I’s was so tired, all I’s really wanted to do was cuddle with mommy and take a nap.
Mommy was exhausted too Raena. Now me unnerstands why she wouldn’t let herself fall to sleep tho’. She wanted to keep an eye on you and make sure nuffin’ happened. Me didn’t know that was you playin’ in the kitchen last night when mommy made our dinner, or me would’a played with you. Me was sure that was the innerloper.
It was just me sissy. Mommy purromissed she’d never leave us and she didn’t. There was no innerloper, just me after surgery. I’s felt much better last night and ate a really good dinner. Fanky fankfully, doctor stabby and grabby sent some meds home to help me with the pain, cuz I’s was hurtin’ a little this meownin’. But, I’s hate that nasty salve he sent home fur mine’s eyes. I’s sure hope mine’s whiskers grow back soon. (Raena licks her paw and wipes across her face)
Ifin ya’ don’t quit pawin’ at your face Raena, mommy’s gonna make you wear that silly collar she bought.
Hmmmmpht I’s would like to see her try, sissy. MOL
Well, me’s just glad you’re back and okay. Altho’ with so many sendin’ purrayers up and askin’ God to keep His hand on you, we should’ve known everythin’ would be alright. We can still use some purrayers fur a full and speedy recovery fur RaenaBelle. Cuz of her size and shape, the e-collar is more of a hindrance than a help.
Don’t furget sissy, we’re linkin’ up with comedy Plus fur Feline Furiday.
How could me ever furget Raena. On another note, there’s still time to get your fotos in fur me’s big Birthday/Gotchaday pawrty. It’s gonna be so much fun!!! We better get outta here fur now. Mommy’s still tired and needs another cup of coffee and we need to finish our brekky.
Hey, Everypawdy, it’s me, RaenaBelle!!! Hey sissy, we’re home!!! Hurry mommy, get mine’s harness off. I’s wanna go tell sissy ‘bout mine’s visit with doctor stabby and grabby. (Raena jumps down from the stroller and heads down the hallway looking for Dezi. She makes a quick potty box detour and then paces through the house meowing and looking for Dezi.) Sissy? Sissy, where are you? Sissy, come out, I’s wanna tell ya’ what happened. (Raena walks over and jumps in mommy A’s lap and looks at her and meows) Mommy? Why won’t sissy come out? Where is she? (Raena jumps down and paces through the house meowing more persistantly this time.) Sissy!!! Sissy, I’s need to tell ya’ somethin’!!!
(Dezi strolls down the hall and jumps on the cat tree) What’s all the yeowlin’ ‘bout? Ya’ come in yeowlin’ and wakin’ me up from me’s rainy day nap. Kittens!!! Your meowin’ like the house is on fire or somethin’.
The house is on fire too sissy? What should we do? Are we trained fur fires?
(Dezi slaps her paw to her forehead) No Raena, the house ain’t on fire, it’s just a sayin’. (Dezi shakes her head) Never mind. What’s so ‘purrtant you had to wake me up. You stink like…
I’s scared mommy. I’s wanna cuddle.
Well sissy, let me tell ya’. When we got there, all I’s could hear was woofies barkin’ and squealin’. The things they were barkin’. I’s think they tried to kill one of ‘em. Bless his heart. Then, we were sittin’ there mindin’ our own business and in walks the biggest woofie I’s ever seen. He ran right over and got all up in mine’s business. His human ‘pawrently believes like the peeps out here, like the law doesn’t apply to them. Cuz he didn’t even have on a collar much less a leash. He could’a eaten me alive befur his human could’a done anythin’. Hmmmpht What is it with those peeps?
Me doesn’t know Raena. But you’re so right. Every time me’s had to go see doctor stabby and grabby me’s almost been accosted.
I’s can tell ya’, I’s would’a gone down whacky pawin’ cuz he would’a hurt mommy too since I’s was in her arms at the time.
Sure sounds like ya’ll were in the waitin’ room fur a long time Raena. Did you ever get into a room?
You always make me feel safe, mommy.
We were sissy. They weighed me when we walked in the door, but we had to wait fur elebenty billion 30 minutes befur we ever got a room of our own. Didn’t take long fur doctor stabby and grabby to show up then. He kept shinin’ a light in mines eyes and it hurted. Mommy’s a little bit furious, but she says that after 2 1/2 years of takin’ me in and complainin’ ‘bout mine’s eye issue, we furinally have an answer to what’s wrong. I’s hate that it made mommy cry tho’. She said she felt just horrible that I’s been in pain every day of mine’s life and she didn’t do more to find an answer sooner. I’s told her she shouldn’t feel bad, she did the bestest she could.
Well what’s wrong with ya’, Raena?
Can we leave mommy? I’s don’t wanna wait fur doctor stabby and grabby.
Well sissy, I’s can’t say all the big words, so I’s told mommy that I’s would s’plain it kind’a like doctor stabby and grabby did and once we got the plan of action estimate, she could tell everypawdy. See, mine’s bottom eyelids turn in some. And there’s these tiny little fur hairs attached to ‘em that are s’posed to purrtect our eyes from stuffs flyin’ in ‘em. Cuz mine’s are turned in, those tiny little fur hairs are constantly scratchin’ and irritatin’ mines eyes. So, they’re constantly irritated and that’s why they’re always gunky and I’s sometimes close ‘em up and can’t see anythin’.
Oh Raena, me’s sorry. Me didn’t know.
Maybe ifin I’s pout, mommy’ll take me home.
It’s okay sissy, nopawdy did and I’s couldn’t s’plain it.
So, now that they’ve figgered out what the purroblem is Raena, what are they gonna do ‘bout it?
Well sissy, I’s gonna have to have laser surgery to make mine’s eyelids turn out right like they’re s’posed too. And, it seems I’s might have some gum issues too, so while I’s out of it fur mine’s eye surgery, doctor stabby and grabby’s gonna clean mine’s teethies and see what’s goin’ on in mine’s mouth. He said they’re gonna shave all the furs off mine’s eyes. Ifin I’s bein’ honest, I’s a little bit scared sissy.
Me is too Raena. Are they gonna make you stay in the hospital?
Nope sissy. Fanky fankfully fur mommy. She told ‘em she wasn’t leavin’ mine’s side at all. Doctor stabby and grabby said that was fine and then mumbled somethin’ ‘bout hopin’ the insurance covered it. Anyways, I’s’ll be comin’ home that afternoon. We have to be there at 6:30 the meownin’ of November 15th. So, I’s gonna have to plan your pawrty fur a time befur that.
So you already have the ‘pointment huh Raena?
Yep sissy. Seems once doctor stabby and grabby figgered out what’s wrong with me, it’s suddenly urgent that I’s have mine’s purrcedure. Altho’, mommy said she wishes we could do it tomorrow. She really feels bad that I’s been hurtin’ fur so long and she didn’t fix it. It’s gonna cost a couple hunnerd dollars. I’s don’t know where we’re gonna get it from, but I’s sure hope we do. I’s can’t even ‘magine mine’s eyes not hurtin’. That’s gonna be so pawsum.
Well Raena, we’ll have to ask our furiends ifin they’ll help us help you. Ifin not, maybe me can sell a kidney or somethin’. Guess we’ll have to post the estimate as soon as doctor stabby and grabby sends it to us.
Yeah sissy, he was too busy when we were there to write it up; doctor stabby and grabby two had the day off. But he purromissed to get it to us in a day or two. Fanky fankfully, he’s runnin’ a special on dentals right now and we do get a Service Cat discount. Mommy said t’ween your last ‘pointment and mine’s visit we’re already at our hunnerd dollar credit limit with him. So we have to pay fur mine’s purrcedure the day I’s have it done. Ifin anypawdy can help me get mine’s eyes fixed, you can donate to our paypal address at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Or you can donate directly to doctor stabby and grabby’s office: Carter County Animal Hospital, Ardmore OK. (580)226-1001 (Dr. Cade Wilson). Our account is unner mommy’s name: Audra High. I’s sure would ‘purreciate it. And I’s could use your purrayers too.
Me will purray fur you Raena. Me wants you to be all better too. Who knows, that might have somethin’ to do with why you’re such a pest. Who knows what you’re gonna be like when you’re no longer in constant pain.
I’s tryin’ on masks fur sissy’s pawrty.
Well sissy, I’s thinkin’ we should have your Carnival Birthday/Gotchaday pawrty on Wednesday November 14th. There’s still time to put on your mask and send (email to: email@example.com) us your foto to be included in the festivities. Ifin you’re havin’ trouble findin’ a mask, let us know. We want all our furiends to attend, so we’ll help ya’ any way we can.
(Hours pass and find Raena sleeping off the day. This morning, Raena’s feeling lethargic and didn’t get up to eat breakfast. Dezi worriedly paces from the bedroom to the living room again and again, searching for Raena.) RaenaBelle? C’mon, get up, it’s time fur brekky. Me will let you jump on me as many times as you want. Just get up Raena, it’s time.
(Raena opens her eyes, but doesn’t lift her head) I’s will sissy, just let me finish mine’s nap.