Sweet sweet Dezi. My heart and my soul…my destiny. My precious angel you could have never known how I felt the day I met you. My heart had been ripped out of my chest just days earlier when I lost Ransom. The third boy, no…son that I had lost at the age of five. I swore as He drifted off to heaven that I would never give my heart away again. I just couldn’t bare going through this again. And I thanked God that Lexi was waiting for me, to comfort me. She would fill that hole and be enough. I knew that I would have to get a new kitty to help Lexi help me, and that kitty would be well taken care of. But I wouldn’t lose my heart to them. Of course Lexi had gotten older and needed help quickly. It broke my heart to see her trying so hard to do the work that 2 kitties had done for the past 5 years. And then the phone rang.
On the other end of the line was a dog rescuer begging for my help. They had taken in a large litter of Ragdoll kittens from a very bad breeder. They knew my situation and I’m sure they thought I’d take at least 1 kitten home. And of course I made the 2 hour drive to meet you all. And the whole way there I kept telling myself I wasn’t going to fall head over heels. When I arrived I was given the back story, and although touching, having been in rescue for so long and already grieving, it didn’t phase me much. I was told y’all were 6 weeks old, weaned and using the litter box. They led me to a big empty room and brought a small Easter basket filled with kitties into the room. You were all poured into the floor and I thought you all looked way too small to be 6 weeks old. But they had gotten papers that said just that. And then you came waddling over with your worm filled belly and struggled to crawl up onto my leg only a few inches off the floor but towering over you. Your litter mates all huddled close together and played with each other. But you had no interest in being anywhere but on my leg. And then you looked up at me with those big deep blue eyes and started to purr and mew and I knew you were my destiny. It was meant to be. I wouldn’t admit it, but I was falling in love with you.
I picked you up and we made the long drive home. You lay quietly only purring the whole way. Once home it was then I realized you weren’t 6 weeks old but 3 1/2 to 4 weeks instead. You were half dead from being over wormed with big box store wormers and you had a horrific case of tapeworm instead. These were all things I had dealt with many times, so once I called the rescue to make sure your littermates were properly cared for we set in for the long haul. Over the next few days and weeks and months I didn’t realize how you were purring your way right into my heart. You always wanted to be able to see me. You didn’t seem to miss your littermates at all. And you always wanted me to be seated before doing anything. If I wasn’t sitting down you wouldn’t eat, drink, go to the potty, or play. I learned it’s because you know when I’m going to pass out and since you alert me, you want to know that I’m not going to fall. You are still that way today.
I think about those first few weeks and how close I came to losing you on more than one occasion. You had been so dehydrated and sick from the wormers and the worms that each day was a fight to keep you alive. But even amongst all of that you wanted to be near me. You were ready to take on Lexi when she would protest with a hiss as she towered over you like a giant and drooled from her toothless mouth. You would turn your tiny little body to the side and flare up and hiss right back. And then run to me for “protection” as she ran down the hall to hide. You liked to sleep right on my chest with your head under my chin and your cottony baby furs tickling my face. I didn’t dare move you because you were just so precious. Sleeping and purring all at the same time.
I remember the first time you did your “dance” at my ankles only a few days after coming home, and I didn’t know what you wanted. That “dance” has become the bond that keeps us together almost 24/7. You now stand much taller than my ankles but you still do “the dance”. And with your high pitched babyish mew you make my heart melt. I watch you sleep and see that little kitten that crawled up on my legs and laid down the first day so contented and safe. When you sleep in my lap and wake to find me watching you and tilt your head up and squint your eyes and “pucker” your lips for a kiss…I lose my heart all over again.
I remember the day I realized I had fallen head over heels in love with you my sweet. I woke up and you were laying on my chest with your paw on my cheek and purring as loud as a lion roars. I looked at you and your eyes slowly opened and you put your other paw on my cheek as well and lifted your head and licked my chin. It was as if the world stopped for that moment in time. And then you drifted off to dreamland again. In that moment I knew I could never imagine my life without you. You’ve grown a lot since then and gotten much heavier, but I wouldn’t ever want you to stop our morning wake up ritual.
I love how you chatter and trill and purr almost constantly. How you are always wherever I am. How you wipe the tears from my eyes with your paw. And try to make the hurt go away with your pats. Sometimes I wonder who’s petting who. And just who’s taking care of who. You are one of a kind and I was so blest you chose me to love and be your mommy. Maybe you did know how I was feeling that day and you knew that you could make it all better. My Deztinee, my precious angel, my heart, all I know for sure is that my life isn’t complete without you. Thank you for being my perfect angel and my true destiny. Thank you for loving and looking after Lexi. Thank you for choosing me when I wasn’t worth choosing. I love you with all my heart and soul and nothing will ever separate us. With each passing day my love for you grows and I wouldn’t change a thing.
With all my Love,
Oh mommy meez luvs you very much. Me never wanted to be anywhere but wiff you. Fank you fur comin’ dat day and fur fightin’ fur me so hawd. And fank you mostly fur lovin’ me. (puts paw to mommy’s face and wipes away the tears) Don’t cwy mommy, even da happy tears cuz me be wight here. And tomowwo we celebwate meez 1 year Blogoversawy. Yous been helpin’ me and Lexi make furiends and hav fun in Blogville fur a whole year now. we sure hope you can all stop by tomowwo to help us celebwate. Meez sure mommy will hav da leaky eyes again. Da happy ones of course.