OMC Just wait’ll yous hear ‘bout ow day yesfurday. It wuz just No, No, No to everyfin’. As you know mommy and me wuz headin’ to da city to hav da caw worked on cuz her got a letter ‘bout a wecall. And when hers called to make da pointment they told her dat there wuz an outstandin’ wecall fwum 2004. They told her it wuz sumfin’ to do wiff da blinkers and flashers. So altho’ it shulda been dun, it wusn’t gunna kill us or cause an accident. Now let me splain. Da letter we got sed dat there wuz a purrawlem wiff da ignition switch and dat it kuld, ifin weez wuz to hit a bump or a bump da wight way; it kuld turn da key and lock up da engine and splode da air bags and cause mommy to completely lose contwol of da caw and send us kareenin’ into da embankment or twaffic, or a pole, etc.. Awe you skeered yet? Well mommy wuz alwight. Here she had been dwivin’ this caw fur da last 2 years and cawtin’ Lexi and me wound in a “death twap” hers fawt. Mommy had even scheduled a purrivate posty dat wulda sent out ifin she hadn’t cancelled it tellin’ a specific purrsun to sue da pants off ‘em ifin we had died in a wreck.
So yesfurday when we got weady to go to ow pointment mommy wuz a little nervous cuz it wuz cold and gway and foggy. You know skeery movie foggy. But we needed to go so mommy kuld quit bein’ fwaid to dwive anywhere. So off we went. And yes, we wuz runnin’ late. Mommy sez dat Lexi and me know when she plans on goin’ sumwhere and we know zackly when hers posed to leave to be on time, and then we make sure dat dusn’t happen. MOL And yesfurday wuz Lexi’s turn. She fwu up bwekky all over da place. In da hall, in da pawdee box room, and on da litter mat. OMC she didn’t even eat dat much. So mommy had to clean all dat up afur we kuld leav. Finally we wuz on da road. We get to da city and mommy can’t find da dealership (she had looked it up in da fone book). So she calls and gets diwections and we head dat way.
When we got there, mommy dwove wight past da gawage doors. So here we awe in all this wet and fog twyin’ to turn wound wiffout hittin’ any of these bwand new caws and finkin’ da whole time da caw kuld lock up any minute now. Well we finally got into da gawage and mommy gathered all ow stuffs up and da man at da desk looked us up on da catputer and filled out a work order. Hims walked us to da waitin’ awea and told mommy there wuz fwesh coffee, hot chocolate and donuts, and to make owselves comfy and hims wuld call us when da caw wus ready. Mommy had a coffee and a chocolate and me had sum water and mommy kinda played wound a bit wiff hers new iPad Air. Almost 2 hours later hims finally came to get us and da first fing hims sed wuz, “Miss High we couldn’t fix your ignition problem cuz this (he held up da caw keys) is an after market key.”
Awe you kiddin’? Dat’s da one dat had mommy so skeered and sounded so dangewous. So of course mommy asked ‘bout it. She wanted to know just what da key had to do wiff fixin’ this howwible purrawlem. So hims sed dat it wusn’t actually da ignition but da key and it’s key FOB dat wuz da danger. Hims sed sum peeps hav so much on their key FOBs dat when they hit a bump da keys go flyin’ up in da air and kuld actually cause da ignition to switch off. Da fix wus posed to be a little plastic fingy dat fit in da openin’ on da top of da key and a little kitty/dog name tag ring. Mommy wuz like, yous got to be kiddin’ me!!! See mommy sits wight under da steerin’ wheel. Peeps hav never unnewstood how she dwives dat way, cuz her be so tall. Gettin’ off twack a bit here. So mommy had asked ifin there wuz any udder options, and ifin hims wuz sure dat wuz all there wuz to it. He assured mommy all wuz well and she signed da work order welease and turned and looked fur da caw. He told us where da caw wuz and we headed over. Mommy put me and ow stuffs in da caw and then went wound to da dwiver’s side to crawl in. OMC hoo ever “fixed” da caw wuz a big man cuz da seat wuz so faw back mommy kuldn’t even weach da gas pedal. Now, member me told you dat mommy combines as many fings as she can into a twip cuz da purrice of gas.
So we got into da caw and mommy went into hers purse to check hers list. Now as you know mommy be disabled and weceives Social Security. Hers gets paid on da 3rd, and sez dat da munny be gone even afur we get it. Not weally, but as soon as she gets paid, she pays da bills and gets da stuffs Lexi and me needs and then it’s gone. Now when we say weez hav no munny, we mean we only hav ‘bout .35 cents to ow name. Mommy used to keep a quawter in da caw fur emergency fone pay fone calls till sumpawdy stole it. So now hers dusn’t do dat anymore. Well dat and da fact dat there awen’t any pay fones left. MOL And well weez to dat point in da mumff when weez hav no munny. It’s okay weez be used to it, and wuldn’t be tellin’ ya’ all this ifin it didn’t hav sumfin’ to do wiff da story of ow day. Now altho’ weez hav no munny, weez do hav a foo dollaws left on da mickey D’s cawd ow furiend sent us back when we went to stay in da motel while ow pawtment wuz bein’ wedun. And we had a kupple dollaws left on da gift cawd awnty Jennifer sent us fur Fanksgivin’. But when mommy looked in hers purse, Oh meez Catness, there wuz NO MUNNY and NO GIFT CAWDS!!! We wuz dead bwoke!!! Wunna know why? Cuz mommy had furgot hers wallet back at home. She kuldn’t even write a hot check fur hot gween papers. Cuz she even left da checkbook back at da house, along wiff hers dwivers license. What a bummer. No bacon burger fur me. And no stops anywhere dat might giv me tweats cuz now mommy wealizes ifin hers got pulled over she wuld be in sum deep you know what. Oh well, it wuz dawk now and da fog wuz even worse. So we ‘cided to just come home and we wuld go back to da city anudder day when da wedder wuz better. Fank Catness we hadn’t weally needed any of da fings hers left back at da house. Guess da new duty Lexi and me will be learnin’ is to make sure mommy has hers wallet and checkbook and any gift cawds we might hav afur we leav da house.